The time of the season for christmas parties.
Saturday night I got the unique experience of both attending and hosting Christmas parties…
The former was actually something that I had been looking forward to for a while. It was a classy social affair (cocktail attire) hosted by a group of friends that I hadn’t gotten to see since high school. It was actually really wonderful and well done on all fronts, I certainly jotted a few notes down on how to throw a pimp cocktail event, including getting myself a large drink tub or two and a never ending supply of champagne.
Sadly, the event only lasted until 8:30pm or so and although I did have other things to attend to that evening, I wished that I had more time to hang out with those kids. Good people, although it was mostly couples that were there, which adds a certain social element that prevent people from really opening up and conveying their true selves. However being the up and coming young socialite that I am, I think I did a pretty good job of countering that element.
From there, I departed to attend my own christmas party. This was going to be a different type of party. I think the appropriate classification is shitshow.
As with most of our parties, it typically begins around the scheduled time with no one
having shown up yet and usually with my roommate Coco nowhere to be found. Slowly people
find their way in and by midnight things were in a nice swing and people were thoroughly
enjoying themselves. Finally hours into our party Coco finally comes back and brings a
boatload of people back with him. Now things start to get crazy. I didn’t get to sleep before
6:30am. The total damage was 2 kegs, handle of vodka, handle of peppermint schnapps, handle of Jager, a fifth of Jose, 70 jello shots, and about half of a handle of rum. All finished.
I’m trying to recall some highlights:
-Jello Shots with mini candy canes are awesome. Surprisingly, dipping the candy cane in my beer was also amazing.
-”The Face” is growing in popularity. Similar to the
shake-face,
“the face” aka lipflap is both horrendous and hilarious. (flap you lips as hard as possible and snap the picture midflap.)
-Someone brought christmas cookies and they all got housed/tossed around the floor and stepped on. The thought is what counts…
-Although not really my scene, I supposed that it is worth noting that bands Breathe Carolina and The Millionaires came to our party. Asian chicks are always a plus…
-Our kitchen floor became such a slippery slushpit from the snow that people were tracking in, that it became a serious hazard and I fell down at least twice and numerous other people also ate shit on it. This was equally embarrassing and entertaining.
-At one point my roommate, “Stink,” was so hammered he grabbed a full pitcher o beer and poured it over his own head. I later found him soaked as shit wandering around with that look in his eyes like he is just on autopilot, and not actually paying attention to anything that is going on. I tried to convince him to go to bed, but that was met with angry backlash. However, in the process of arguing against this notion, he knocked into someone and spilled their beer all over them and the floor and quickly agreed that maybe it actually would be best if he went to sleep.
-This probably didn’t last long though as I later found out that he peed in my closet, on my clothes. *Sidenote: this may or may not have been intentional, he tends to be very unpredictable with his urinary habits when he is at that point of intoxication, so I’m not too upset about the whole situation on account of him not realizing what he’s doing.
-Our kitten, Michael Phelps, was in Stink’s closet, with his liter box, food, and water during the party so that he didn’t get constantly get picked up and fondled/stepped on downstairs. At one point in the night though, Coco grabs MP’s lier box and tries to move the whole operation into my closet (1/2 the size, minimal floor space, and lacking a door). In doing so however accidently dumps half of the liter box on my floor. He picked most of it up, and I moved Phelps back to Stink’s room but there is still cat liter (no catshit thankfully) on my floor making it terrible to walk around in barefeet.
-Our buddy Hudsy passes out in my closet for the 2nd consecutive party, without a blanket, and in possibly one of the most uncomfortable sleeping positions I can imagine.
-There were a lot more, but they all sort of blur together. Overall the party was a huge success, everyone had a blast, we kicked all the booze, ton of people, interesting pictures, and no one went to jail. Weeeeee!
